I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against,
When I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it. It’s a thing you don’t want to go wrong over,
Because one false step and you’re sunk. I mean, if you fool about too long at the start, trying to establish atmosphere,
As they call it, and all that sort of rot, you fail to grip and the customers walk out on you.
Get off the mark, on the other hand, like a scalded cat, and your public is at a loss.
It simply raises its eyebrows, and can’t make out what you’re talking about.
I shall have to hark back a bit. Then I found my mind turning to another aspect of this affair.
And taking it for all in all and weighing this against that, I suppose the affair may be said to have had its inception,
if inception is the word I want, with that visit, when I went to Norwood, where I spent my leisure time last weekend.
So, my weekend in Norwood. I knew it was going to be fun but... I've decided to move in with Julia...and her parents...
And her sisters...and her cows....and her chickens...and 3 house cats...and her horse and scary dog...
Did I mention she has a horse? Yep. They have no choice. Perhaps I'll live in the coop. I can cluck. Cluck cluck...there.
Picture a typical farmer... Who gets up at dawn, works in the barn,
Comes in for breakfast, works in the barn, comes in for lunch,
Works in the barn, comes in for dinner, works in the barn, goes to bed.
Ok... Do you have the image of the typical farmer in your head?
Now add in common wit and a cute smile and a dash of a loving father...
________________________________________________________________
Mother of four. Needs a vacation yet does her job better
Then a lot of other mothers I've seen. One hell of a cook
And one hell of a nice mom. There should be an award...
Makes damn good pancakes and is easy to carry on
A conversation with. Loves her daughters, you can see it
on her face, but they tire her out. That Julia one is a handful
Drives really fast. She sent me home with homemade cookies
So I have no choice but to like her.
Mrs. B: "Jen, do you have room in your bag for cookies?"
Jen: "I always have room for cookies."
_________________________________________________________________
She's funny looking. I'll start again. Julia B. Oldest of four girls.
That explains it self. Has a strong love for her cows and
Speaks in a completely different voice to her animals.
Has a stupidly comfortable bed and the coolest wall paper
I have ever seen. She can party with the best of them and her
Dance moves can seriously take on mine. (not really)
First year university student...I forget the name...
All in all, she does some serious rocking of my world...
_________________________________________________________________
Has crazy curly hair. I tried straightening it. Didn't really fly.
Kind of quiet but you can tell there's a lot going on in her head.
I think she thinks I'm a freak...or maybe just freakish.
She laughed at all my jokes so I must like her for that.
In grade 9, going through those tough years. Pretty sure she'll make it.
Makes one hell of a waitress. Has a wicked collection of earrings...
_________________________________________________________________
Doesn't believe the light looked like a strawberry and argued with me
About it for a good two minutes before giving in.
She's decent at rock-paper-scissors but can't stack her fingers on top
Of each other. That's a skill very few of us talented people have.
In grade six and thinks it sucks. I can't help but agree.
Likes enormous earrings. She can pull them off though.
Very competitive at computer games. I got the high score in Rattler...
_________________________________________________________________
The baby of the clan. Cutest little girl I have ever seen.
Has had a tough year but is good spirited.
Kind of freaked out when she saw me.
Guess she didn't know I was staying with them.
Can paddle ball up to 65 beats, I stood there and counted.
I shocked myself with the fact that I could count all the way to 65.
Impressive. Loves the Incs. Who doesn't?
Favorite food is mashed potatoes. Good choice.
_________________________________________________________________
There is no more. Major estrogen family. It started with a crazy cab ride to the bus station with a driver
Who picked at his teeth with a knife and thought he was a race car driver.
It ended two days later with me puking in the bus station due to car sickness and laughing the whole bus ride home
Because of our stories from the night before.
I had a lot of firsts this weekend. First time being with Julia behind the wheel of a vehicle.
For all you other people who haven't heard...you drive on the RIGHT side of the road
I love the fact that all her friends thought we were drunk on Friday when we were actually just really really hyper.
Hanging out with them was kind of surreal...like pictures come to life with voices and shit...trippy. Love for them all.
Some dude's house party. Let's just say those country kids know how to party! I for one was wowed.
Drugs, booze, guitars, random make-outs... There's a good time and then there's a Norwood time.
There is so much I want to write, but it's impossible to put down all the wicked memories I have from this weekend.
There are no words. I'll keep it simple then. See yeah in May...and June...and July...and August....last year...
When I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it. It’s a thing you don’t want to go wrong over,
Because one false step and you’re sunk. I mean, if you fool about too long at the start, trying to establish atmosphere,
As they call it, and all that sort of rot, you fail to grip and the customers walk out on you.
Get off the mark, on the other hand, like a scalded cat, and your public is at a loss.
It simply raises its eyebrows, and can’t make out what you’re talking about.
I shall have to hark back a bit. Then I found my mind turning to another aspect of this affair.
And taking it for all in all and weighing this against that, I suppose the affair may be said to have had its inception,
if inception is the word I want, with that visit, when I went to Norwood, where I spent my leisure time last weekend.
So, my weekend in Norwood. I knew it was going to be fun but... I've decided to move in with Julia...and her parents...
And her sisters...and her cows....and her chickens...and 3 house cats...and her horse and scary dog...
Did I mention she has a horse? Yep. They have no choice. Perhaps I'll live in the coop. I can cluck. Cluck cluck...there.
First there's Mr. B.
Picture a typical farmer... Who gets up at dawn, works in the barn,
Comes in for breakfast, works in the barn, comes in for lunch,
Works in the barn, comes in for dinner, works in the barn, goes to bed.
Ok... Do you have the image of the typical farmer in your head?
Now add in common wit and a cute smile and a dash of a loving father...
________________________________________________________________
Mrs. B.
Mother of four. Needs a vacation yet does her job better
Then a lot of other mothers I've seen. One hell of a cook
And one hell of a nice mom. There should be an award...
Makes damn good pancakes and is easy to carry on
A conversation with. Loves her daughters, you can see it
on her face, but they tire her out. That Julia one is a handful
Drives really fast. She sent me home with homemade cookies
So I have no choice but to like her.
Mrs. B: "Jen, do you have room in your bag for cookies?"
Jen: "I always have room for cookies."
_________________________________________________________________
Julia B.
She's funny looking. I'll start again. Julia B. Oldest of four girls.
That explains it self. Has a strong love for her cows and
Speaks in a completely different voice to her animals.
Has a stupidly comfortable bed and the coolest wall paper
I have ever seen. She can party with the best of them and her
Dance moves can seriously take on mine. (not really)
First year university student...I forget the name...
All in all, she does some serious rocking of my world...
_________________________________________________________________
Amanda B.
Has crazy curly hair. I tried straightening it. Didn't really fly.
Kind of quiet but you can tell there's a lot going on in her head.
I think she thinks I'm a freak...or maybe just freakish.
She laughed at all my jokes so I must like her for that.
In grade 9, going through those tough years. Pretty sure she'll make it.
Makes one hell of a waitress. Has a wicked collection of earrings...
_________________________________________________________________
Jamie B.
Doesn't believe the light looked like a strawberry and argued with me
About it for a good two minutes before giving in.
She's decent at rock-paper-scissors but can't stack her fingers on top
Of each other. That's a skill very few of us talented people have.
In grade six and thinks it sucks. I can't help but agree.
Likes enormous earrings. She can pull them off though.
Very competitive at computer games. I got the high score in Rattler...
_________________________________________________________________
Ashley B.
The baby of the clan. Cutest little girl I have ever seen.
Has had a tough year but is good spirited.
Kind of freaked out when she saw me.
Guess she didn't know I was staying with them.
Can paddle ball up to 65 beats, I stood there and counted.
I shocked myself with the fact that I could count all the way to 65.
Impressive. Loves the Incs. Who doesn't?
Favorite food is mashed potatoes. Good choice.
_________________________________________________________________
The End
There is no more. Major estrogen family. It started with a crazy cab ride to the bus station with a driver
Who picked at his teeth with a knife and thought he was a race car driver.
It ended two days later with me puking in the bus station due to car sickness and laughing the whole bus ride home
Because of our stories from the night before.
I had a lot of firsts this weekend. First time being with Julia behind the wheel of a vehicle.
For all you other people who haven't heard...you drive on the RIGHT side of the road
I love the fact that all her friends thought we were drunk on Friday when we were actually just really really hyper.
Hanging out with them was kind of surreal...like pictures come to life with voices and shit...trippy. Love for them all.
Some dude's house party. Let's just say those country kids know how to party! I for one was wowed.
Drugs, booze, guitars, random make-outs... There's a good time and then there's a Norwood time.
There is so much I want to write, but it's impossible to put down all the wicked memories I have from this weekend.
There are no words. I'll keep it simple then. See yeah in May...and June...and July...and August....last year...