I wish I had more control over my feelings so I could feel so out of control all the time.
Is "ironic" the right word to use? I'm not sure.
It's so conflicting but it feels so much better than happiness. It's more real, and it fills me up,
Lets me pretend I'm unreal for a little while. I think it's a bad thing to want to feel bad and sad
And all that jazz. It's supposed to be a bad thing, but you don't understand how good it feels...